Saturday, August 13, 2011


by Aziza Uko
Following, my message on the referenced subject, (read it here) the number one feedback, comes in the form of a question of concern.

“Aziza, if I don’t pray back-to-sender prayers, won’t my enemies get to me and how do I return any evil done to me back to the sender?”

This question is a sign of the harm that the back-to-sender doctrine has done. It has affected the mind of Christians in a negative way. Everything about the back-to-sender doctrine is devilish. Everything!

First, there are some who argue with passion that back-to-sender is a scriptural way to pray. They point to the Book of Psalms and to some of King David’s prayers. This argument may appear right. It would be right if we are followers of Moses and King David and if all we had for scriptures ended at the Book of Psalms. But we are followers of the Lord Jesus Christ and the “eye-for-an-eye”/back-to-sende​r doctrine which was operational under the Law of Moses which King David operated under was specifically changed by Jesus Christ. Matthew 5:38-45. Our Lord Jesus made it clear that forgiveness and non-retaliation is what makes us children of our Heavenly Father.

It’s funny that every Christian appears to know the verses where Jesus made the change. But some wish to wish it away and practice back-to-sender prayers anyway because that’s what they feel comfortable with.

People who know the truth and decide to go the opposite direction are small people in the eyes of God. Teaching other people to do anything contrary to the Word of God is equally self demoting. Matthew 5:19

Going against the King of kings who is the WORD of God is putting oneself in harms way. Matthew 21:43-44 Such people are on the road to one day colliding with the Rock of Ages and it’s not a pleasant experience for a man’s soul. Funny, I got that phrase from a back-to-sender prayer point. :)

We aren’t playing draft/chess/checkers with God. It’s not a “God, eat this one, then I eat this one” race. Cherry picking the instructions of the LORD that we will obey and those we will argue out off obeying is unacceptable. Total obedience to God’s Word is the order for Christians.

It’s amazing that after willfully disobeying Jesus Christ, the next prayer points usually claim the promises of Deuteronomy 28:1-14 - Lord, I shall be the head and not the tail. – which incidentally are conditioned upon total obedience. “And it shall come to pass, if thou shalt hearken diligently unto the voice of the LORD thy God, to observe and to do all his commandments which I command thee this day, that the LORD thy God will set thee on high above all nations of the earth.”

There’s no need wondering why the promises of God aren’t working in the life of some Christians. It’s disobedience.

To the second part of the feedback question above: You are not to return harm or evil to anybody. You are to love all people – including those who want to hurt you. That’s what Jesus instructed. If you believe in Him and want to use His name or His blood you have got to do what He says. Christianity is not a democracy. Jesus Christ is not an elected official, He is a King and His Kingdom is above all and He rules forever with a mighty hand. It’s a command. You don’t reason or negotiate your way out of it. You just do it! John 10:27

Concerns About Protection

Our protection is God’s job and God is perfect, He also never sleeps nor slumbers. He never fails at His job. He doesn’t need any kind of reminding or any help from anybody. He doesn’t lose a battle. He always wins.

Nowadays, because of the prayer consciousness among Christians,
“Pray without ceasing” has been given a whole different meaning and used to justify endless and mindless muttering. [Read my post about how to pray here Part 1 and Part II.

Most scriptures that concern protection and rescue from harm are statements of truth but they’ve now been crafted into prayer points.

“Touch not my anointed and do my prophet no harm.” It’s not something to pray about or preach about. It’s something to demonstrate.

“Seeing it is a righteous thing with God to recompense tribulation to them that trouble you.” It is a statement of truth. It’s not a prayer point.

Some of these protection prayers are just misunderstanding of the nature of the Word of God. There are commands, instructions, observations, simple story telling, and God’s decrees in the Bible.

God’s decrees are truth. Nobody needs to pray truth into existence. Truth is. That’s just how it is. There’s nothing anyone can do to make it better and nothing anyone can do to bend it. You just have to fall in line with the truth to succeed.

God said that “Nothing shall by any means hurt you.” Therefore nothing shall be any means hurt you. It’s that simple.

Being concerned about the evil being packaged by anybody, even the devil, against you is like being concerned about a nuclear bomb a five year old boy is making with foam and broom sticks. The bomb is a joke. It is never going to work. That’s how the machinations of your enemies are. Worthless!

It’s fear that causes people to pray back-to-sender prayers because they are concerned about evil coming their way. When a Christian comes to understand the nature of his God and the nature of His Word, and who he (the Christian) really is, fear takes flight. Knowledge drives away fear.

When you know that when God says a thing, it’s a command into creation. Everything in God’s creation including the evil uncle, or the proverbial village witch must obey. God has commanded that nothing would hurt you and that’s how it has just gotta be. There’s no option for the universe but to obey its Maker.


(c) 2011, Aziza Uko. This work is the original work of the author and copyrighted. It may not be reproduced in part or in whole in any form without the permission of the author and proper acknowledgement.

Friday, August 12, 2011


by Aziza Uko

Men, this one’s for you.

A lot of you ignore Christian programmes centered on marriage because you think they are for the ladies. That’s understandable. Much of the communication coming from the singles and married circuit is directed at the ladies, in some churches the ministry has all but been relegated to the women’s ministry or the ministry of the pastor’s wife. It shouldn’t be so. This is a very powerful ministry which holds the key to the prosperity of the Body of Christ. It’s not a mere home economics or home keeping club.

Men are the leaders of the family and if the leadership stinks, the rest of the house is going to suffer. So, as a matter of priority, men should be interested in the Creator’s principles of marriage. By now, it should be obvious that it doesn’t begin and end with “husband love your wife and wife be submissive to your husband”. There’s more.

Many men have been influenced by cultural thinking to believe that the success of a marriage depends on a woman. “It’s the woman that makes a home,” they say. For this reason many brothers are finding it difficult to make a choice and get married because they think that you have to marry someone who will make your marriage work. But this is the truth - the success of your marriage depends on you not on your wife nor her mother. On YOU!

Many men are are educated, have good careers and are comfortable, but find it difficult to marry. Why? They are suffering from the same thing that afflicts young ladies and delays their marriages. Ignorance!

Ignorance doesn’t discriminate along gender lines or race or religion. Ignorance destroys anybody it afflicts. Hosea 4:6 says that God’s own people are destroyed for lack of knowledge.

From my experiences inviting brothers for Pastor Chris Ojigbani’s programmes, at the first instance they tend to feel the programme is for ladies. A brother who was 38 years at the time (now 39) and still finding it difficult to get anybody to accept his marriage proposal told me, “I thought Pastor Chris’ ministry is for those finding it difficult to get married.” Really? This is a guy who has been trying to get married for more than a decade without success. But because he believes the fallacy that “a man can get married any day he wishes” he is wallowing in the misery of being single and he still doesn’t think he needs help.

At the Abuja event held in June this year, three brothers shared testimonies of being empowered to marry after encountering the right knowledge at the marriage seminar with Pastor Chris. One of them said he wasn’t thinking about getting married, he thought he was too young though he was doing well at work and making a lot of money. Another said he was in a relationship but thought he was not financially okay to get married. Another said he just broke up with his girlfriend of five years and at 35, he was beginning to think that maybe marriage is not for him. All three of them said they were empowered to locate their spouse and get married within a year through the teaching they received at the seminars with Pastor Chris Ojigbani.

Marriage is very important to a man. If it weren’t God would not have identified the problem for Adam. Marriage gives you a help meet, a constant companion, a partner with whom you can build your life. Some brothers are ignorantly hunting for who will love them “unconditionally” outside marriage. There is no such thing to be found. Get married and you will begin to enjoy true love.

One of the most important things a man needs to succeed is favour. God promises favour to anybody who finds a wife. So, for many who yearn for this favour, they are however stranded in the search for a wife because of ignorance of the principles of God concerning how to locate your wife. This seminar will help you. Pastor Chris has experienced this crisis of locating his right spouse for years, till he met with the right knowledge and got married in 21 days of locating his right spouse. So he knows what you are feeling and he knows how to get out of it.

A single brother testified that on hearing Pastor Chris’ teaching on sex, he was liberated from a life of sexual sin which was threatening to drown him. It is not God’s will for brothers to be moving from lady to lady, selling off their life, their destiny, their wealth, and position in life along the way. Pastor Chris Ojigbani exposes the right principles of God concerning sex. Many brothers want to be wealthy. This is the secret.

“But, I watch Pastor Chris on TV and see that most the audience is female,” a brother has told me. That is because of wrong thinking. You see, the principles of marriage are universal. The marriage institution came about as a result of a need that God saw in the life of Adam (not Eve). So, one can say that marriage was created for Adam to make life easier for him. Yet, many brothers think they are doing the lady they marry a favour. Not so.

It’s an upside down thinking which has led to the upside down world we live. This has to be corrected.

Brothers, it’s time to stop masking your fears and difficulties under your masculinity. There’s no more time left to waste. You need to get married and enjoy your marriage. If you are married and facing difficulties, you need to enjoy your marriage. If you are enjoying your marriage, you need to be empowered to enjoy it even more. Get up and connect with the right knowledge that will empower you to be victorious in this area of your life. The right knowledge is the key.

Financial miracles, healing miracles, restoration miracles, family reconciliation, rescue from destruction – are all recorded at these seminars. This is not surprising because the same WORD is what we need to succeed in every area of our lives.

Pastor Chris Ojigbani is holding a powerful marriage seminar at Eko Hotel Expo Centre tomorrow and next tomorrow, August 13 @ 12 noon and August 14 @ 2 pm. Please be there. Go with your buddies! The Lord is ready to grant all the secret petitions of your heart.

Also get some of Pastor Chris Ojigbani’s messages – Trick of Right Spouse, Trick of Love, Who is Compatible with Me, Trick of Soul Mate, Power of Sex, The Secret of Sex, The Ultimate Marriage, What Makes a Marriage Successful, and so many others; and his books too. You will treasure your investment in these materials. Your life will change dramatically, there’s no doubt about it.

(c) 2011, Aziza Uko. This work is the original work of the author and copyrighted. It may not be reproduced in part or in whole in any form without the permission of the author and proper acknowledgement.

Thursday, August 11, 2011


by Aziza Uko
Ever heard of back-to-sender prayers? If you are in Nigeria, you must have. Other variants of the prayer is fire-for-fire, dangerous prayers, etc.

The back-to-sender prayer is one of the worst things to have hit the Body of Christ in the last 15 years. It is pure evil and in direct disobedience to our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. 

I recall when I as a teenager, some preacher got up on the pulpit at a crusade and said, “The Bible says, turn the other cheek, but for me if you slap me, I will slap you back.” And he succeeded in getting most of his audience riled up. Some other preacher said that David said, “God prepares a table before me in the presence of my enemies.” But his own prayer is, “God prepare a table before me in the absence of my enemies.” And his audience was equally energized.

I wish I knew then, what I know now. Perhaps, I would have rescued some people around me from what I believe was the onset of a wave of wrong teaching and the practice of a doctrine that has consumed so many Christians, denied them their blessings, and prevented them from realizing their true potential.

You see, that’s the enemy at work, and the only way he works is to change a word or two, turn God’s Word upside down and get you to practice the opposite of what God instructs so that you automatically step out of favour with God, then bad things begin to happen and then you would naturally ascribe those events to him and he becomes even happier. Why? He didn’t do anything but deceive you into creating your circumstances for yourself, but he is nonetheless pleased that you think it is him. Why? Because the moment you begin to ascribe powers to him, the worse things start happening in your life. Why? You create your own realities and because he doesn’t have any power so it’s a wrong diagnosis of your problem to start with. And a wrong diagnosis means that a wrong solution will be applied. And a wrong solution means that the problem will persist. “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge.” saith the LORD. Hosea 4:6

Back-to-sender is all about sending back evil to whoever sent it to you. Back-to-sender prayers involved a set of activities which involve using words to turn back any spiritual evil sent towards the person and direct it back to the source which is another person.

This back-to-sender circuit has become very popular and creative too, I might add. People have written books, and built empires, and obtained global fame and recognition by promoting the back-to-sender doctrine. I have heard or read some very comical prayer points spawned by this doctrine of fear. Some pastors have unknowingly adopted the doctrine because it sounds right and appears scriptural and because the forerunners appear to be “making it in ministry”.

The truth is that the back-to-sender doctrine is anti-Christ in its purest form. The back-to-sender prayers are occultic stunts. That’s the Word of God.

Our Lord Jesus Christ instructed us directly and as clearly as any instruction can be. “But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;.” Matthew 5:44 So, where did all this “Anybody who is planning my death, fall and die” come from? Jesus Christ taught us to forgive those who hurt us, ““I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.” Matthew 18:21-22 and He even taught us to remind our Heavenly Father about our having forgiven others who offended us when we prayer. [Read the Lord’s Prayer at Matthew 6:9-13 and Luke 11:2-4] Where does the “any evil arrow sent in my direction, back to the sender” chime come in? These scripture show that back-to-sender is anti-Christ.

How is it an occultic stunt? If someone sends evil your way, it is definitely not the Holy Spirit or angels that are meant to execute it. It has to be demons. So, if you are communicating with demons and sending them on errands to other human beings, it means you are a demonist, a diabolical person and one who operates in the spirit realm using demons to execute his instructions or wishes is an occultist. A Christian who does this is no better than the person who sent the evil to him in the first place. If it is witchcraft, returning it is an act of witchcraft.

This evil has got to stop. Back-to-sender prayers is the worst kind of fear. Christians need not be afraid of anything. Our Lord Jesus said it, “Nothing shall by any means hurt you.” Believe him and stop walking in fear but in love. Luke 10:19

Ever since back-to-sender prayers started, how many have been answered? Some testify, “I prayed and my evil uncle died.” Okay, no arguments. But, the testifier is 50 years old. The evil uncle must be over 70 years. Isn’t 70 years an okay time to depart this evil world? Someone has got to die. Every man has an appointment with death someday. Even the testifier will die someday.
The vast majority of the people practicing back to sender are living in frustration. Their prayers are not answered. Grace has departed from them. They are missing out on the goodness of the Kingdom and I feel sorry for them and every Christian who knows the truth should too.

NB - Pastor Christ Ojigbani has written an international best-seller titled “Back-to-Sender: Is it the Will of God?”. It is concise, straight to the point; complete reading that exposes the evil of this doctrine. It can be bought off Amazon at this LINK. Please get this book. Also get this book for your loved ones who may be practicing the back-to-sender doctrine. For more information on this please visit

(c) 2011, Aziza Uko. This work is the original work of the author and copyrighted. It may not be reproduced in part or in whole in any form without the permission of the author and proper acknowledgement.

Monday, August 8, 2011


by Aziza Uko

 "AZIZA, I HAVE been in a relationship with a lady for four years, two of which has been in courtship. She is truly beautiful inside and outside. Everyone in my family loves her. I met her at a Christian youth summit. She's a solid member of her church. I even left my church and started worshiping in her church for the past three years. She has been a real source of encouragement in my life. I have a good job and so does she. I love her so much and I really want to marry her. How do I know she's the will of God for me? I don't want to make a mistake.” – Joseph Simmons

Yours is the story of many Christian men today. The “will of God” in marriage teaching these days has been clouded with so many abstract theories going overboard on the importance of be “in the spirit” so much that the real practical teaching on what the will of God for a Christian’s marriage has been lost to many. This has resulting in inertia among Christians in the area of marriage.

What you must know is that God did not choose Eve for Adam. Adam chose Eve by himself from a variety of chooses that were made available for him. Study the story of Genesis 2 carefully detailed here - "MARRIAGE WHERE IT ALL BEGAN" Throughout the scriptures there is no record of God choosing a wife for anybody.

All you need according to the Word of God to determine if a lady is right for you are just three things.

She is a Christian. The Word of God is very clear on this. It remains one of the issues that is clearly instructed in both the Old and the New Testaments. You must marry from the family of God. Do not marry an unbeliever. [Deuteronomy 7:3-4, Malachi 2:11, 2 Corinthians 6:14]

You like her. Many people don’t know this. They think that God can decide for them and God’s choice many not be the person they like. This error has led to many unhappy situations. Where people left relationships with people they were in love with and married someone they did not fancy just because they were led to believe that the other person was the will of God for them. God says in Numbers 36:6, a very direct instruction from the Almighty – “Let them marry who they like.”  [It is best read the entire story it starts from verse 1 of Numbers Chapter 36]

Summary, marry a Christian that you like! It is that simple.

How will you know who is right for you?
When you meet her, you will know. You will have peace in your heart about the decision. Peace in your heart is not the same thing as peace of mind. The Holy Spirit lives in you and He often prompts you with signals of peace or of uneasiness about a decision you wish to make. A signal of peace is what we call peace in your heart. There’s a quiet confidence that this peace brings and you are then able to do what you need to do to accomplish your goal in life.

In your case, I don’t know what to say anymore. You’ve said all that there needs to see to know that she’s for you – she’s beautiful inside and outside, she’s a Christian, she is a source of encouragement to you, your family loves her, you both have great jobs, you’ve known her for four years, and you love her. What other sign do you want? Her hair should turn into a burning bush? (*grinning smiley*.)

Seriously, you are fine. You are a Christian so all you have are better days ahead. “But the path of the just is as the shining light, that shineth more and more unto the perfect day.” Proverbs 4:18. I just love the New Living Translation which says, “The way of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn, which shines ever brighter until the full light of day.” God has promised you a bright future and your end must be brilliant. “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” Jeremiah 29:11

Marriage is not a battlefield or a cross to bear as some people so mistakenly teach. Marriage is a covenant relationship between a man and a woman for the purpose of companionship, procreation, support/partnership, and sexual union. What will make you marriage work is your willingness to work out your differences, walk blanket forgiveness, bear her weaknesses and don’t try to change her, be patient and tolerant, and keep loving her. Everything will turn out just fine for you.

(c) 2011, Aziza Uko. This work is the original work of the author and copyrighted. It may not be reproduced in part or in whole in any form without the permission of the author and proper acknowledgement.

Saturday, August 6, 2011


by Aziza Uko

Speaking with many people, online and in real life, it is becoming apparent to me how deep the twin trick of the enemy has taken root in the Christian community.

Spirit husband or spirit wife? Ever heard of it? Most Nigerian Christians have. I am thinking now that all people exposed to Pentecostal/evangelical messages from Nigeria have heard this taught or mentioned or “testified” about.

I am beginning to think that this trick of the enemy is the leading cause of separation, divorce, and delayed marriage in the body of Christ where this fable is taught. Yes, it is a fable.

Many people teach about spirit husband and wife. They teach that when a woman or man has such a spirit that the person will not succeed in marriage in real life. But they are all in error. It's a trick of the devil. There's no scriptural basis for such a teaching. There's no such thing in the Bible. Demons don't have sex. The spirit husband/wife teaching is a complete make-believe story – from the start of it to its end, there is no truth to it.

Why? Spirits don’t marry. Jesus Christ said so. Since there is no such thing as spirit wife or spirit husband, there is therefore no such thing as spirit children. Spirits don’t have sex. God created sex for procreation – “multiply and fill the earth” – sex is an earthly activity. Spirits don’t procreate.

Marriage was created in the Garden of Eden for man and woman – human beings. Before Adam found Eve, there was no marriage in creation. So angels who predate man don’t marry.

You can’t be married to someone without knowing it. There is no way you can be married to a demon. Just no way!

But, we hear stories of people saying they had it and testifying of being delivered of it?
People make up stories and relay them to other people. It’s a game of the mind. If a person that one thinks is a man of God tells him consistently that he has a spirit wife. And the man of God in question comes across as one who has deep spiritual insights, and the person believes that he has a spirit wife. Then, symptoms of those who have spirit wife according to what he has been taught would become more prominent in his mind. And because he believes there is something like spirit wife and that he has it, he will begin to think on those things and then create those things in his life. So if that person is taken through a series of activities called “deliverance” and the person is then told that he has been delivered that the spirit wife has left him. The symptoms may cease and then he would testify of being delivered.

Then why do people have sex in the dream and sometimes they wake up with “evidence” of sex on them?
An understanding of what a dream is would explain why such things happen. Check out the “Trick of Dreams" teaching by Pastor Chris Ojigbani.

Those physical manifestations are body fluids of the dreamer. A demon cannot be touched or felt as such a demon cannot have sex. Demons don't have physical bodies. Demons are fallen angels. Jesus Christ said that angels don't marry.

People could have sex in the dream because:

1. They think about sex before they go to bed;
2. They fill their thoughts with sex during the day or they have strong desires for a loved one whom they have not seen for some time;
3. They watched a film of people being intimate;
4. They have abstained from sex for a long time;
5. They saw someone they are attracted to and began to desire the person;
6. MOST PRIME - They heard that they have spirit husband or wife and because the teacher of this fairly tale story told them that someone who has spirit husband or wife is visited in the dream for sex by the spirit.

It’s a two-fold problem. The second aspect of it is the trick of deliverance. Because spirit husband or spirit wife is a demon. The person is told that he or she needs deliverance and taken through a series of activities for this deliverance. This fable sends Christians out on wild goose chase seeking to be delivered from something that does not exist.

This is not a joking matter. I know many people that have sown wedding gowns and bought wedding bands to return to the spirit husband and taken through series of useless events including bathing in a river in the name of divorcing from spirit husband. People have done 21 days dry fasting to obtain a divorce from the spirit husband or wife. A lady told me of undergoing “deliverance from spirit husband” a good 16 times before she could marry. The devil is so wicked.

There are some deliverance merchants out there who specialize in diagnosing spirit husbands and wives. “I don’t feel love for my husband anymore.” “You have spirit husband.” “Nobody proposes marriage to me.” “You have spirit husband.” “My husband is having an affair.” “You have spirit husband.” “My husband’s business is not working out.” “You have spirit husband.” “Everywhere I go, people hate me.” “You have spirit husband.” “I need a baby.” “You have spirit husband.” There’s no end to it. Every challenge of human life is met with a spirit husband answer from these people.

Christians don’t need deliverance. It is a trick of the devil. Demons don’t live in Christians. The Holy Spirit is in every Christian. He cannot share a house with a demon. This truth of the gospel of Jesus Christ makes nonsense of the idea of deliverance ministry. The deliverance ministry circuit is a massive fraud. No human being can deliver another human being. Jesus completed your deliverance when He died and He rose from the dead.

The enemy is a trickster. That's all he has left tricks and games. Please don’t fall prey to his tricks. Please.

What should I do now?

1. Please read these teachings on “The Trick of Dreams” and “Trick of Deliverance” both by Pastor Chris Ojigbani. Confirm from the Word of God. Internalise the truth. Let it become part of you.

2. Spread this message. Please. So many Christian are suffering needlessly because of the belief in this fable. It’s urgent. The truth must get out.

(c) 2011, Aziza Uko. This work is the original work of the author and copyrighted. It may not be reproduced in part or in whole in any form without the permission of the author and proper acknowledgement.

Monday, August 1, 2011


by Aziza Uko
Following the teachings I posted on “Activating the Grace of Marriage”, I have been  instructed to clarify some issues in respect to sacrificing.

When a post has a recommended reading, it means that the subject matter requires more study because there are more key points to take note of  in the application of the principles of God that are stated in the teaching. Please if you are unable to get a recommended reading, please don’t hesitate to get in touch with me by inbox and I will provide more information.

The most important questions, I will attempt to address below.

Where and how should I sacrifice?
You sacrifice as the Holy Spirit leads you.

You can make the sacrifice out to an organization which is a church or ministry. Or you can sacrifice by sowing directly into the life of a minister. The most acceptable place is YOUR OWN CHURCH OR PASTOR. You know your church in real life. You know that it exists. You know the work it does. You know your pastor. You know his/her life. You see the grace in his/her life every day. You can be sure of what you are doing. You know your pastor is not fake and you also know that your church is not fake. Enough said!

You can also sacrifice to a minister who holds the grace that you seek. Some are well know. Some you have to discover. But to identify this grace, you need to KNOW the minister or been blessed by his or her teaching.

Though I don’t like sharing my personal testimony, I think I must share a few here. I am connected deeply to the ministry of Dr. Mike Murdoch as such I share in the grace of wisdom God has given him. There’s a pastor I know since I was a child. I saw him give his life to Jesus and grow till he received his calling. I saw him get married. I know him! I know he is for real. I heard that he wanted to buy a car. I sowed a sacrificial seed to him towards that need. I even forgot about it. It wasn’t about helping him get a car. It was about being part of God’s project that is the life of this young minister who obeyed God and went into ministry. Two years later, when I was not even expecting it. God gave me a brand new car that was beyond my income or level in life. Enough of me!

A friend of mine needed a job. Being unemployed, she was broke. But she knew this principle; she had been taught. She knew she had to part with something of value in her life to move the heavens. She took the most highly priced bundle of fabric she had. One she really valued and sowed it into the life of HER PASTOR’S WIFE. She gave it to her pastor’s wife on a Sunday. “Pastor Mary, I want to plant a seed into your life. This is it.” Pastor Mary, received it and prayed for her. Pastor Mary didn’t even know what her desire was. The next week, a powerful international corporation invited her for an interview and she got a senior management position beating out all other candidates who came in from around the world. It was a keenly contested position but she saw the same grace that Pastor Mary has in her life - a grace of achieving with ease.

What’s the common thread here? The sower knows the minister or ministry she is sowing to. The minister did not solicit for the seed. It was not given in a trade by barter fashion – sow-and-receive magic style approach.

If you have a health challenge in your life or the life of a loved one – Benny Hinn and ChrisOyakhilome carry the undeniable grace.

If you need wisdom? Dr. Mike Murdoch carries an undeniable grace.

If you need transformation, a victorious Christian life – Joel Osteen, Joyce Meyer, Joseph Prince carry the grace.

If you are a minister and you need the grace of ministry, church growth, teaching, impact, exploits – Pastor Enoch Adeboye and Dr. David Oyedepo are men who carry the grace.

If you need a financial turnaround in your life – Kenneth Copeland, Dr. David Oyedepo carry a grace that cannot be denied.

These lists or names are not exhaustive. I just put forward these examples to show you how you should be thinking when it comes to sacrifice.

A real ministry has a physical address, the ministry is known in its locality, has a structure. Holds periodic open events where the public can attend. A church has members, real people not Facebook people with shadowy profiles. In this age, credible ministries have websites. You can search anybody and any ministry out on Google and be connected with the ministry. But always watch out for third party endorsements – sources of information on the minister other than the minister and ministry itself. If the only information you can get is from the minister’s Facebook page, blog, or website. That’s a big red flag.

If you wish to sow a sacrificial seed on an unfamiliar ground:
1. Try to know the minister and the ministry.
2. Do some research and don’t let the only source of information about the ministry or minister be the minister himself.
3. If truly one is a pastor, there would be people who know the person and can attest to the ministry of the person.

A BIG RED FLAG: By the time you are doing a background check on a minister, it’s a good sign to forget about it.

A minister who reaches out to you in person soliciting seeds or funds from you on Facebook or in real life is most likely not real. Especially when you granted no permission to be so contacted. The person behind the name you see is not a minister but a scam artist. They are the ones bringing disrepute to ministers.

Enough said!

(c) 2011, Aziza Uko. This work is the original work of the author and copyrighted. It may not be reproduced in part or in whole in any form without the permission of the author and proper acknowledgement.

Saturday, July 30, 2011


by Aziza Uko

"AZIZA, I AM a minister of God, called of God. I have a clear mandate from God. I am a prophet and a teacher. I feel a big burden to fulfill my ministry. I know I need a wife to help me on this mission but I am being very careful. I don’t want to marry someone who will come and destroy my destiny. How do I know a woman who will work with me to build my ministry and not destroy it?” – Kenneth R. D.

You have to first understand the nature of your calling. When God calls a man, He calls Him to do a work which is part of His big agenda. So putting yourself in the centre of God’s agenda by doing what He sent you is the key to fulfilling your destiny in ministry. Obedience is the first step in this direction. If God has called you, begin to obey Him and grace will come to do the work. Remember that it is not your job, nor your work, nor your agenda. It’s God’s and He is capable of executing His plan.

In no place in the Bible did God say that the fulfillment of a divine assignment is dependent upon the person one marries. Doing so amounts to bringing God to ridicule by placing his auction at the mercy of the weakness of a human being.

When God calls a man, He releases grace to fulfill that assignment and that grace is extended to his wife, his children, and all who join hands with Him to fulfill the mandate. No human being has the power to interrupt God's agenda.

If a minister’s wife exhibits human failings in her behaviour these are the things you must note:
1. She’s human and can make mistakes.
2. The minister is not perfect either, but it pleased God to use him.
3. No other minister is perfect, yet we have ministers who are succeeding.
4. The man's ministry has not failed. What happens is that grace comes.

I know that it is a popular teaching that a people’s destiny depends on who they marry. It’s a wrong teaching that have been circulating for years in the church which has led to the current high rate of confusion in Christian marriages. So, everybody is looking out for that person who will not interfere with their glorious destiny. Many of such comments have no scripture to back them up yet people believe them to the extent of taking decisions that frustrate their lives.

TRUTH: God does not place your destiny in the hands of anybody except yourself. Your destiny is influenced by only two people - yourself and God.

The Word of God is clear on making a choice of life partner - marry a Christian whom you like. The choice is yours. Just make sure you marry from God's family. The success of your marriage depends on you ALONE and nobody else. It takes ONLY YOU to make your marriage work. It does not depend on who you marry but on what YOU DO in your marriage.

The fulfillment of your divine assignment depends on YOU and the decisions you make and the actions you take and not on anybody else. The Bible teaches responsibility. What you become and everything you need to become what you want to become is all inside of you, not outside of you.

(c) 2013, Aziza Uko. This work is the original work of the author and copyrighted. It may not be reproduced in part or in whole in any form without the permission of the author and proper acknowledgement.


by Aziza Uko

“Aziza, a friend of mine told me that God has called him to ministry. He said God spoke to him. But I feel uneasy about it the whole thing? How do I confirm that God truly called him and he is not making this up? – Luna Rivers

First, all Christians are called to the work of Christ. Yet there are those who have dedicated their lives to work of the ministry. There are those who received a special mandate from God. Some people are drawn to the work of the ministry. Some are moved to work for God. There is room for all.

When a person tells us that God called her and gave her a specific assignment, it is not our place to question the call. It falls under the region of “personal testimonies”. You don’t argue a personal testimony. At the same time, you don’t have to “follow” the person if you don’t want to. But don’t disprove the calling – you were not there when the person was called neither does the Caller seek clarification from you before calling someone. If you are really troubled, just ask the Holy Spirit and He will tell you what you need to know.

One thing is sure - God confirms His Word at all times. When He gives someone an assignment or a mandate – the sign will be evident. There will undeniable proof of the hand of God over the person’s life especially in the area of his calling. Testimonies must follow.

My Pastor rejoices at our testimonies and he tells us, “Your testimonies are my own reward”. That is why you often see pastor very excited when people give testimonies of how God used their ministries to change people’s lives. Some people get upset about it and think the pastor is boasting. It’s a lack of understanding. Testimonies are confirmation from God that He truly sent the preacher or pastor. Ministers need to hear that God is doing what He said He would do. So, don’t shy away from sharing testimonies with your pastor. It encourages him and lets him know that he is doing the right thing.

When people outline a mandate they have from God – it has to be backed up by scripture. God will not call someone to do something contrary to His word or to do something that only He can do. He will not call someone for instance into “deliverance ministry” because no human being can deliver another. He will not call people to cast out demons from His children because His children don’t have demons.

But He calls people to “preach the Word of Faith” which is in line with the global mandate that Jesus has given all Christians in Matthew 28 v 18 - 20. “Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

(c) 2011, Aziza Uko. This work is the original work of the author and copyrighted. It may not be reproduced in part or in whole in any form without the permission of the author and proper acknowledgement.


by Aziza Uko

AS FAR AS we know, God has not told us, “I am the LORD God, I speak like this or I reveal Myself like this.” So, it is not possible for any person to make a conclusive statement on how God speaks. To attempt to do so would amount to limiting God.

From the scriptures, we can see God communicating in diverse ways as it pleased Him. In person He visited and spoke to Adam and Eve. He spoke to Cain. He spoke to Noah. He spoke to Abraham and visited him in person. He sent angels with messages to people in the Old Testament. He showed Pharaoh a dream. He spoke to Moses Himself and through a cloud. He sent an angel to Daniel. He used handwriting on the wall to deliver a message to a heathen king. He sent prophets to kings. Through a donkey to a corrupt priest, He spoke. He showed Ezekiel a vision. He spoke audibly from heaven endorsing His Son, Jesus Christ. He came in person and walked the earth as a man giving us the most powerful messages of salvation. He showed Peter a dream. He spoke audibly to Apostle Paul. He showed the book of Revelations to John.

To narrow down how God communicates to His creation to one method or a few media is to deny Him who He is. He is a creative God, the intricate design of creation was done by Him. God’s imagination is fascinating. He is an intriguing person. He cannot be put in a box. He designed the rose, the banana tree, and the cactus plant. He created the minerals of the earth. He created the ant, the elephant, the whale, and man. He created the orange, the cocoa plant, the almond, and cashew. He made the moon, the sun, the earth, and all the planets and their moons.

God can speak to anybody (believer or non-believer) in any way that He wishes to.

Jesus Christ said, “My sheep hear my voice.” God’s children hear His voice. When God speaks, it’s undeniable. His children hear Him and know it is He because He lives in you in the person of the Holy Spirit.

(c) 2013, Aziza Uko. This work is the original work of the author and copyrighted. It may not be reproduced in part or in whole in any form without the permission of the author and proper acknowledgement.

Friday, July 29, 2011


by Aziza Uko

Yesterday, I posted a message on how to pray a marriage prayer. It is necessary to also post a message on how NOT TO PRAY a marriage prayer because our Christian space has been invaded with so many wrong practices in prayer. These are general principles of prayer but since the message is on marriage, I may use marriage illustrations.

First, I know a lot of exercises have been invented in the area of prayer in Christianity so much that a lot of unlearning has got to take place. If we agree as Christians that the Bible is the only authority and that Jesus is our only example, it will be very easy for us to establish right teaching. No matter how respected a man is, anointed, or followed, if he teaches something outside what the Bible teaches or contrary to what the Bible teaches, or gives a testimony or sets an example that is not in the Bible, we should follow Jesus and the Bible and leave the man’s ideas for him. Agreed? Okay.

What is prayer? Prayer is communication with our Heavenly Father.

Do not engage in vain repetitions. That is what the heathens do hoping that their God will hear them by their constant repetition. Matthew 6: 7 – 8. So repeating your request over and over again, dancing around, and clapping your hands, screaming at the top of your voice, swinging your head from side to side vigorously, upsetting everyone around you is not the way to pray. Matthew 6:6 “But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.”

Prayer points are guidelines not words to be repeated over and over again verbatim in some crazy chant. That’s how occultists pray. Don’t pray like that, please. Just have a gentle and passionate conversation with your Heavenly Father, tell him how you feel about Him and what you want from Him. He is not far away from you. You don’t have to shout to be heard. Pray like Jesus prayed, calm, deliberate, confident that His father heard Him always.

You don’t need to “storm the gates of Heaven”. There is no such thing in the scripture. There is no such thing as violent prayers or dangerous prayers. Jesus taught us how to pray, please follow His guidelines.

Prayer is not something you do “against” something or somebody. Prayer is communication with your Heavenly Father who told you to come boldly to the throne and grace and obtain mercy. No need to storm the gates of Heaven, push your way through. No such thing. “Come boldly to the Throne.” How do you approach a King, do you jump around, knobbing your head, chanting the same word over and over again? No. You walk down with reverence. How does a child of a King approach him? He moves with confidence that Daddy will hear me and give me what I want. How does a child ask his father for something? He asks with faith because he knows that his father will do what he wants. He doesn’t pester his father, cry and fall down and roll around the floor. No! He just says, “Daddy, please bring back the book you promised me. Daddy, thank you. Daddy, I love you.” This is why good dads do everything they can to keep their word to their children. You see this theme repeated over and over again in Hollywood movies. That’s how your Heavenly Father is to you. Jesus said it, that if we who are evil know how to give good gifts to our children how much more our Heavenly Father. It’s powerful and amazing! Matthew 7:7-11

Don’t pray with desperation. God doesn’t respond to your desperation. He responds to your faith.

Don’t speak to any being except your Heavenly Father. Don’t speak to people “Anybody withholding my blessings.” NO! Nobody is withholding your blessings by the way. No human being has such power to withhold the blessings of a child of the Most High God. “Satan, I rebuke you.” No! Which part of your Heavenly Father is Satan? “Father, I bind the demons resisting my marriage.” No! Your Heavenly Father doesn’t sit with demons on His throne. I have good news, no demon is resisting your marriage. No demon is stealing your blessings. Those are ideas from hell. How can a demon step in and stop God from blessing His precious child? It’s impossible. You don’t resist the devil in prayer. The war is not one of prayer. That’s why there is no such thing as “warfare prayers”. Are you fighting with God? Communication with the devil, witches, demons, enemies, or evil uncles is not prayer. Prayer is communication with your Heavenly Father.

[Forget the devil! He is defeated. Jesus messed him up real bad. He is a toothless, powerless, shamed, condemned criminal. He is a bastard, a vagabond nonsense full-of-rubbish person just moving about the earth without purpose. He has no say whatsoever in your life or your affairs. Jesus put him right where he belongs, under YOUR FEET!]

John 16: 26 and 27: At that day ye shall ask in my name: and I say not unto you, that I will pray the Father for you: 27 For the Father himself loveth you, because ye have loved me, and have believed that I came out from God.

See how Jesus prayed and even taught us to pray. Wonderful example of how to approach your Heavenly Father. Read John 17. Beautiful prayer. No stress. No use of strength to pray. No pressure to receive the answer. Total confidence in His Father, our Father. Before Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead in John 11, He prayed. “Then they took away the stone from the place where the dead was laid. And Jesus lifted up his eyes, and said, Father, I thank thee that thou hast heard me. And I knew that thou hearest me always: but because of the people which stand by I said it, that they may believe that thou hast sent me.” Then he said with a loud voice, “Lazarus, come forth.” The command to Lazarus was not part of his prayer. When he said his prayer he did not shout or say it with a loud voice. He lifted up His eyes and said Father, I thank you because you have heard me. Powerful!

Let Jesus be our perfect example. The LORD’s prayer is the ultimate prayer guide. God always hears you. God does not deliberately withhold anything that we need that He has from us. God does not enjoy watching you suffer. God does not delight in your pain. God loves you and wants you to be happy. “Ask that you may receive that your joy may be full.” Don’t be anxious for anything, but in prayer and supplication commit them to your Heavenly Father. If you ask you receive. Believe God’s word. Come to Him in confidence. You don’t need to increase your faith. In the Bible people asked Jesus to increase their faith, what did He tell them? If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain “be thou removed” and you will see what you say. Nothing shall be impossible for you. All you need is a faith as small as a mustard seed. Matthew 17:20

Let’s read the Bible from a blank sheet. Unlearn all you have learnt and read the Bible again. You will discover wonderful things.

So, very important:

1. No back-to-sender prayers, curse breaking, cancelling of ordinances, binding of any demons or powers, no talking to evil birds or trees, no sending out thunder or fire to destroy anything. Stop it.
2. Don’t speak to anybody but your Heavenly Father. Don’t speak to demons or people or devils.
3. Don’t do vain repetitions. Ask once, believe that you have received, thank Him and be expectant. Be like Jesus. You are operating in His realm.
4. Don’t ask for vengeance from God. Don’t remind Him that vengeance is His own. He knows His job. Pray for your enemies the way Jesus showed you – “Father, forgive them.” Pray for their salvation that they may see the light that you have seen and come to repentance. Bless them and ask God to grant their hearts desires, that He should have mercy on them and lead them into His peace. That’s a true Christian prayer.
5. Find out what the Word of God says about your situation and pray accordingly. God will not change His Word because of your prayer.
6. Spend time in thanksgiving and praise. Tell Him how you feel about Him. Let Him know that you love Him so much. It’s just you and Him in the room. He is right there sitting with you because when you give thanks and praise you enter into the Throne room of our King. Unleash your heart to Him. Then thank and praise Him again.
7. Have confidence in God, confidence that He hears you. Don’t be afraid. Nothing can harm you. Nothing can steal your blessings. Nothing can delay your blessings. Your time is now. Believe. Just believe.

Our God is good, He is your Father, He loves you so much, more than anything else in the whole world! Never forget that.

(c) 2011, Aziza Uko. This work is the original work of the author and copyrighted. It may not be reproduced in part or in whole in any form without the permission of the author and proper acknowledgement.


by Aziza Uko

This is so wrong. Character can fluctuate. It’s not as erratic as emotions. But it is also not fixed. Many people have been disappointed by the “changed” character of their spouse after marriage. Some even say that their spouse was pretending. Not necessarily. People do change. What forms character is not fixed, when it changes, character changes accordingly.

"Emotions are in the soulish realm, and unless the carnal mind has been renewed, Satan can give us emotions or feelings of love for someone of his choosing. If he did not have this in his power, he could not split up marriages."
Satan doesn’t have this kind of power. He can't give anyone any kind of emotions. Our emotions are controlled by our thoughts. That is why if you have a positive perception of a person, you tend to love the person. If you have a negative perception of the person, you tend to hate the person. Satan doesn’t have the power to make a choice for you and impose feelings of any kind in your heart about the person. That’s giving him too much credit. You make choices on your own and permit thoughts that are unwholesome to remain in your mind and when they take root, they become the strong hold that the Bible talks about pulling down.

Satan doesn’t have power to split up marriages. Why marriages split up is because the people in the marriage think wrong things, believe wrong things, put wrong things to practice, and eventually take a final wrong decision that splits the marriage. Satan hates marriage, he hates peace, he hates man. If he had a tiny bit of power to split marriages, be rest assured that there would not be any marriage left in existence.

"One of his favorite techniques is to suddenly take away the feelings one once had for his mate and give feelings for someone else."
Again, you should know that Satan had no such power. Who would he spare if he did?

""Falling" in love is Satan's way. The very expression of these words should tell us something. A Christian should not blindly "fall" into any trap. Love is bigger than simply falling for someone."
This is kind of confusing and this teaching is the cause of a lot of confused feelings among Christians. Some Christians have come to equate intense emotional love as evil, causing many to hold back the very thing that God created to enable them keep their marriages. It’s amazing how the enemy turns things upside down. Emotional love is a good thing, created by God. But, God permits it only in marriage. “Falling in love” is not evil in itself. It’s falling in love with one that you are not married to that is the problem. It’s not actually “falling”, and it’s within your control to have emotional love for who you want. It doesn’t work blindly as the world likes to describe it.

"Certainly, the Lord gives us a wonderful emotional feeling for the one we are to marry. However, this "feeling" without God's direction can be disastrous as Satan can tamper with our emotions and feelings too."
Everything we do and have comes from God. But it is not like God is hanging around distributing emotional love in our hearts. He has given us power to love whom we want to love. That’s why He commands us to do it. If it were not so, He would have said that He will give us the power Himself, like He said He gives us the power to make wealth. In this case, it’s a command to do. Love is within our control. Don’t go praying for emotional feelings, think positively about your spouse, do intimate things together, be kind and considerate to your spouse and you will grow your emotional love. Satan can only drop thoughts in your heart about your spouse. Knock those negative thoughts out immediately they come and replace them with positive thoughts. He doesn’t have the power to “take away the love you have for your spouse”. You don’t have to have emotional love for the person you want to marry. God doesn’t require it. What He requires is that you love who you marry. God’s direction is generic – marry a Christian that YOU like. So, God is not going to direct you to any particular person.

"Marriage, in a Christian's life, should be based on a decision directed by the Holy Spirit. A Christian's love for another is a commitment."
The direction will never ever tell you, “Susan is your wife.” “Ben is not your husband.” The direction will come in the form of being led to have encounters with Christians you could marry. If you make a choice of a Christian, you will have peace in your heart concerning the person.

"Of course, the Lord will supply the emotions for the mate He sends, but that should not be the criterion for making the decision to marry. The Lord should be sought, and whatever He speaks to us we should do. He knows the future and what is best for us. If we trust Him He will not fail us in this or any other important area."
The danger of waiting for the Lord to speak the way we want is untold. Because He will not say whatever we want Him to say. He will never say someone is yours. He will not interfere in your right to choose. When you make your choice, He will not come and tell you “you are right or you are wrong”. If you are making a wrong decision, you will not have peace about it. You will be troubled in your heart about the decision. That’s a good sign to reconsider.

(c) 2011, Aziza Uko. This work is the original work of the author and copyrighted. It may not be reproduced in part or in whole in any form without the permission of the author and proper acknowledgement.


by Aziza Uko

"ARE THERE ANY prayer points a believer should pray before stepping into marriage?"

The first and only prayer about marriage that was prayed in the Bible was done by Abraham's servant, Eliezer and God answered the prayer immediately. Eliezer's prayer is recorded in Genesis 24. (A chapter worth reading by those who wish to know more about marriage).

He prayed to the God of Abraham, he prayed for speed, he prayed that God would show kindness to Abraham. He asked for a sign. The Bible records that "It came to pass, before he has done speaking, that behold, Rebekah came out."

In our dispensation, we don't ask for a sign, our LORD Jesus changed that. We don't do fleecing, because we have the Holy Spirit to tell us what to do or bear witness with our spirit. When our LORD Jesus came He taught us how to pray in the verses now called "The Lord's Prayer". There is a secret of prayer. There are conditions for having all your prayers answered. But you must pray a prayer aright. (James 4 v 3 says we don't get what we asked for because we prayer amiss).

You must pray according to the Word of God. If you ask God, for instance, to do something that He does not do or that is not in line with His nature or His Word, you will never get an answer. When you understand the Word of God on prayer and God's will concerning it, you would align your prayer accordingly and therefore pray aright and the scriptures record that God answers a marriage prayer immediately.

It is proper to call on the God of Abraham. It is proper to claim the same speed that He gave Abraham's servant because you are a child of Abraham and you enjoy the same blessings. It is also proper to pray for grace, to pray for favour, to pray that He leads you, to pray for the finances to meet your marriage obligation. It is proper to pray that God would reveal to you the right knowlegde that you need to be empowered to marry.

It is proper to pray that God would lead you to His child. It is proper to pray that when you meet the person, your spirit will bear witness that you have found the one for you. It is proper to pray that He would release wisdom and grace on you both to build a home together. It is proper to pray that God would bless you marriage and enable you to work for the Kingdom.

What is most important is that you believe that you have received what you prayed for. When you are led to the right person, trust God that He did not lead you astray, and move on with your marriage plans. Don't go into another round of intense prayer and fasting - it amounts to unbelief.

(c) 2011, Aziza Uko. This work is the original work of the author and copyrighted. It may not be reproduced in part or in whole in any form without the permission of the author and proper acknowledgement.


by Aziza Uko

THE SCRIPTURE SHOULD be the final authority for any doctrine or belief by a Christian. There are some who teach that God will “reveal” or choose a wife or husband for a Christian. That doesn’t happen. There are no scriptural verses to support such a teaching.

Again there are those who testify of being told who their wife or husband is, some say they were given a name, some say God described her, some say that God revealed to their pastor, God revealed in a dream, and so many other such testimonies. Personal testimonies are just that; personal testimonies. We don't base our faith and doctrines on personal testimonies. Sometimes, people mis-communicate. We base our doctrines on the Word of God.

A close examination of the Word of God reveals that the right of choice rests with the individual. God did not choose Eve for Adam. Adam choose Eve by himself from an impressive of variety of options. There is no Bible story that points to God choosing a wife for a man. The right of choice lies with you.

God, however, has commanded that His children marry from His family. After that, “let them marry who they like”. Marry a Christian whom you like. That’s the Word of God.

“He who finds a wife finds a good thing.” A man has got to find his wife. God will not find a wife for you. You do the finding, God releases the favour.

“The steps of the righteous are directed by the LORD.” God will create an encounter for you, but He will not choose anyone for you. When you make a right choice, you will have peace in your heart concerning it.

"Can God ever stop his child from marrying his (the child's choice) for any reason?" God doesn't stop anybody from obeying His instructions. If a Christian makes a choice in line with the God's directive, God will not stop the person. If God promises a reward for anybody who finds a wife, [God motivates His children to marry by promising them a reward], why would He stop them from marrying?

(c) 2011, Aziza Uko. This work is the original work of the author and copyrighted. It may not be reproduced in part or in whole in any form without the permission of the author and proper acknowledgement.


THE SCRIPTURE SAYS that he who finds a wife finds a good thing, not he who finds a good wife. A wife is a wife and every wife is a good thing.

It is common to hear some brothers who don’t have a mastery of their homes bemoaning their choice of wife. Some say they made a mistake, some say they married a bad wife, some said that they even married a marine agent sent to destroy their destiny.

They are all so wrong. Any wife you find, is a good thing. When a Christian marries a Christian, God releases favour and blessing. You have a role to play in applying God's Word in your marriage. God has given clear instructions on how to run your marriage for your own benefit. The application of God's Word guarantees marital bliss.

There is no perfect person. You are not perfect, your wife is not perfect, no other person you could have married is perfect. So, a human imperfection doesn't make a person a bad person.

Every good and perfect gift comes from above. Every wife is good, so every wife is a gift from above. So, it is right to thank God for giving you your wife. This doesn't mean that God makes the choice of your wife. You do.

NB – Brothers who fear getting married to a marine agent or an agent are often brothers who say they are in the “deliverance” ministry. If you keep on sniffing out demons for a living, you are going to end up in hell. Change your job description to one of unleashing the supernatural power of God and you will experience angelic experiences in your life.


TRUTH: God has not created anybody special for you. God has not set any special date that you will marry. God is not keeping you single. The devil is not keeping you single, the bastard has no such power. There is no curse in your family keeping you single. Nothing you forefathers did is keeping you single. There’s no ordinance in your family keeping you single. Nobody whom you refused to marry in the past placed a curse on you. You don’t have spirit wife or spirit husband that is preventing you from marrying. You are not single because you insulted a man of God once upon a time somewhere. You are not single because of a premarital sexual encounter. You are not single because you don’t have faith. You decide when you will marry. You have to make a choice of who to marry and when to marry.

Some people say that God showed them who to marry. There are those who say they heard a voice tell them that someone is their wife. Some say they saw it in a dream. Some say it was revealed to their pastors or parents. Some even say they were given the name of their spouse. Those are all personal stories which cannot be verified. We thank God for their lives and we move on.

The Word of God is the standard for all Christians to follow. Jesus' testimony is the only one that counts. No matter how inspiring a man's personal testimony, it cannot defeat the Word of God.

God leads you to someone who could be your spouse, but you have to make your choice. That is the Word of God. God does not choose a spouse for anybody. God does not have a special person He created for anybody.

Contrary to popular belief and teaching - God did not create Eve to marry Adam or Adam to marry Eve. He created Eve after Adam had looked around from all other creatures God made for him and could not find a help meet. When God created Eve, it was not to make Adam marry her. But He presented Eve to Adam, just has He had done of so many animals before. It was when Adam choose Eve that the institution of marriage was created.

If God does not choose your spouse for you. He therefore will not set a date for you to marry. If God permits your freewill to work in any situation, it therefore means He will not fix a time for you to take a decision you and only you will take.

The most important decision a human being can make is not the choice of who to marry, contrary to popular teaching - it is the decision to accept Jesus as Lord and Saviour and become born-again. That's the decision that causes heaven to erupt in joy, not the choice of spouse. If God does not force you to give your life to Jesus, why would He then force you to marry on a certain day.

There's no record in the Bible where God choose a wife for anybody or commanded anybody to marry a particular person.

There are some who say that if they did not marry the particular person that they did, their life would have been so bad. Or if they did not marry at the time they did, they would have been divorced by the day of the testimony. Again, another personal testimony, but this one can be examined.

Nobody can ever know the outcome of a decision the person did not take. Let me say it another way - If an event that would have set a particular future in place, never happened, then there’s no telling what the future would have been. If you did not marry Jane in 1987, but rather you married Mary in 1995, you can never for sure tell what would have happened if you married Jane in 1987. Conclusions on a future which is dependent on you taking a particular decision at a certain time which you did not take has no basis.

If you did not give your life to Jesus or answer God's call at the time you did, your life would have taken a different turn, no doubt about it. But you can't conclusively fill in all the blanks of the details of how your life would have been. You can for sure say that you would have been unsaved - the Word of God says that - but you cannot say for instance, I would have been jobless or divorced or poor. Only God knows that. So, you can't tell if you got married earlier what would have happened to your marriage by now.

Some people say that you have to work on yourself, become a better Christian, get close to God. When you are “full”, you will get married. It sounds right, but it is wrong.

Marriage is God's creation. But it is not a Christian institution. God created marriage for man. Christians often get things mixed up. Jesus Christ was a Jew. He was not a Christian for instance. Hindus, Budhists, traditionalists, even the fools (those that say in their heart, there is no God) get married. So, teaching single sisters that they have to be “better” Christians in order to get married is deceptive and destructive. Often the person teaching this is married, and he or she is not a perfect Christian. Sometimes, he is not even as good a Christian as the single people he is preaching to. What qualifies him to give that lecture is that he is married.

If prostitutes (at least everybody can confirm they sin everyday) get married, some even continue in their business after marriage and still remain married, then why should Christian sisters have to work on themselves to get married?

If the person teaching such did not get married as a result of reward for faithfulness or service, then it is wrong to tell other Christians that they somehow have to earn the right to be married.

There are some that discourage you from pressing for your desire. They say God is to be loved and not used.

The TRUTH: The Word of God holds the answers to every human question. If someone has a problem or a question. What the person needs is an answer and Jesus is that answer. It doesn't mean that is all that Jesus is. If a Christian has cancer, is there anything wrong in him seeking healing? If he asks questions of a fellow Christian and the person gives him the Word he needs to apply to solve get is healing. Does that mean that the preacher is trying to use Jesus?

Some tell you to read your Bible and pray hard and fast. Then all your marital problems will be solved. If one is unhappy in his marriage, “Brother, pray, read the Bible, meditate on it, fast and pray, get close to your pastor, don’t miss fellowship. It is well.” If one is divorced and seeks a reconciliation, “Brother, pray, read the Bible, meditate on it, fast and pray, get close to your pastor, don’t miss fellowship. It is well.” If one has never received a marriage proposal in her life, “Sister, pray, read the Bible, meditate on it, fast and pray, get close to your pastor, don’t miss fellowship. It is well.” Can that be the answer to those problems?

Don't all Christians fellowship? Don't we all pray? Don't we read the Bible? Don't we have pastors whom we talk to all the time? Don’t we fast? How much is the right quantity? If an activity that goes with being a Christian is the answer to singleness or marital challenges, then all Christians would be happily married, don't you think?

How does doing more of the same thing produce a new result?

Reading the Bible is good, very good. Prayer is extremely good. Fasting is very beneficial. Fellowshipping with the saints is awesome. But everything has its place and uses. Salvation has its place and its own principle in the Word of God. No matter how you pray, you can't be saved. No matter how you read the Bible, you can't be saved. If you like, live in the church, have a relationship with all the pastors in this world, you cannot be saved till you do what the Word of God says you need to do to be saved.

Prayer and Bible reading does not guarantee long life. What does is the first commandment with a promise.

Applying the Word of God to resolve a challenge in one's life is not using God. God Himself made the provision for your rescue and completeness in His Word before you came around. It is a free gift, given for your benefit. If you refuse to use the right tools, you will suffer like one who does not have the right tool. So, don't let anybody who does not have the right word for your situation deceive you into rejecting the right word and remaining where you are.

The only cure for a problem is the solution to that problem.

When God identified Adam's loneliness - God did not rest until Adam found his help meet. So, therefore, when you activate God, capture His attention on your situation, move the heavens on your behalf - He will not rest till you are married.

Our God, Jehovah is His covenant name, He loves it when we turn Him on. He invited us to call on Him, prove Him, and bring Him into a situation. God is not moved by your trials or struggles or your tears - He is moved by a challenge to His integrity.

Learn how to move God. What moves Him?


GOD, OUR MAKER said "it is not good for man to be alone." If God said something is not good, it therefore means it is not good. There’s no other Word. It is not good. God’s Word can never change. For political correctness, preachers are forced to say that there’s nothing wrong in being single. But, what does God say? Who's word will you believe?

It is popular teaching that you can be okay when you are single as long as you use your singlehood to serve God. It's not correct. Such a teaching is not from God. Married people serve God too. There is no place where God said that married people serve Him less than single people. If God says something is not good, how can a man be countering God's word that it is good?

Being single is not a curse. Everybody is born single. However, embracing singlehood is a journey down desperation and sadness. That's the truth. That's why anybody who says "Being single is awesome has a "but" coming up later in his story."

It doesn't mean that if you have come of age and you are still single you are cursed or anything of the sort, it just means that if you desire to marry, it is healthy and taking steps to get married without delay is a wise move.

The only answer to the kind of loneliness that yearns for a companion of the opposite sex is marriage. No amount of consolation or diversionary tactics will work. All efforts to cure loneliness beside marriage offers temporary reprieve. The cure to singleness is marriage. I am not saying this to make anybody unhappy but to open your eyes to the reality of God's word.

Man cannot be wiser than God. The cure for loneliness (being alone) is not reading the Bible and worshipping God, it is getting married. "It is not good for man to be alone, let Us make an helpmeet for him." God could have said, “Let us give him the Bible to read.” When God made that statement about Adam, Adam walked with God and was visited by God every day. He saw God face to face. Yet, God still said it is not good that Adam was alone.

All the said "joys" of singleness are also available to married people. People often point to texts by Apostle Paul to praise singleness. It's a grave error because Apostle Paul said at the opening and repeated again at the closing of that text that he was speaking for himself not God. So, those verses are not the word of God but Apostle Paul's own personal philosophy.

So, stop trying to manage loneliness. It will not work. Get married. If you are interested, keep watching this space, the knowledge exposed here will empower you to get married without any delay. Your eyes and mind will be opened to the power God has placed in you and you will learn how to activate it. Within one year of walking in this knowledge, if you so desire, you will be married.

If you desire to marry, God is not keeping you single. The devil is not keeping you single. Your ignorance is keeping you single. Free yourself from the chains that hold your mind. Walk into the liberty of the truth of God’s Word. You have control over to whom and when you get married. The WORD OF GOD works 100% of the time. Contact the right knowledge. Don't join people to question the Word of God. Embrace it. Do it and it will work for you.


“There are times there are altar calls for singles in my church who wish to get married. I am always ashamed to go forward because I don’t want to look desperate. I am single, 37, and I have tried to get married a number of times, each time the relationship crashed. I have even done introduction for a sister, but the relationship still crashed. I am kind of desperate now, because I don’t want to end up 40 and unmarried. But, I still feel that going out for the altar prayer call for singles makes me look desperate. It’s usually ladies who go out for such things. Am I right?” – Brother James (not real name)

This is the story of many young singles. There’s nothing wrong in having a strong desire to marry. Just like there is nothing wrong in having a strong desire to have children or get wealthy or get a job or succeed in life. It is a healthy desire especially for young adults who have come of age.

There are some who try to make you feel comfortable with your singleness. Such people try everything to make you overturn your desire to marry and embrace singleness. Such teaching attempts to make you feel like there’s something wrong with your desire. There are others who make you feel terrible if you are single. Some even blame your singleness on you saying you have not yet come into your fullness, because when you do, you will marry. In the process of trying to make you feel okay about your unmet desire to marry, some even talk down marriage and sex. They try to belittle marriage and sex. Some even tell you that marriage is not a cure for loneliness.

Good news: There is nothing wrong with having a very strong desire to marry. Your Heavenly Father said it is not good for man to be alone, which means that it is bad for man to be alone. It’s that simple. He went ahead to decide to provide a solution to that “alone” status of Adam by saying, “Let us create an helpmeet for him.” This process led to what we know as marriage – a sacred and exclusive union between a man and woman. So, according to God’s own Word and wisdom – marriage is the answer to loneliness. So, if your Heavenly father says that it’s not good for man to alone and provides the answer – marriage. Why would a human being give you a teaching contrary to God’s Word? Who's report will you believe?

Such teaching comes about when people don’t have the right answers to your marital problems, they then want to console you and divert your attention from the problem at hand, so that you can remain under their teaching. It’s selfish. And the people who often teach these things are usually, always married. After they teach you how to remain single, they go home and warm their beds. Isn’t that wickedness? Isn’t it better to tell the people that you don’t have an answer for them rather than to mislead them?

This is what happens, any attempt to console yourself and divert your attention from your desire to be married and to have legitimate sex, and have children (like 1. Read your bible and pray 2. Get involved in social and charity activities 3. Praise and worship 4. Look for a hobby, etc. 5. Serve in the church 6. Learn self-control 7. Serve in your community 8. Get a closer walk with God 9. Get spiritual mentors) only provides temporary relief. After making these moves, you end up with an even stronger desire to marry. It’s amazing how people teach people to fight a God-given and acknowledged AND RESOLVED desire.

Have you also noticed that all the recommended options to helping you “enjoy” being single are not exclusive activities for singles? Every human being can engage in them, single or married. Also, if you observe closely, those recommendations are the same that are dished out to people in a bad marriage, people who are divorced, widowed, and teens. Isn’t it amazing how sometimes, we just embrace what we hear without taking time to just do a simple review?


HERE IS A true story about a young man who got his prayers answered:

Many people who visit Jerusalem are tourists who come to get a sense of Jewish culture and history. One day, a young tourist named Jeff was brought in to meet me at Aish HaTorah.

"What are you doing?" I asked him.

"I'm working for my MBA at Harvard University. And I'm an atheist."

"Fantastic! A real atheist! Whoever was able to convince an atheist like you to speak to a rabbi like me deserves a medal."

"Nah," Jeff says, "he doesn't deserve anything. I'll tell you how I came..."

Jeff had been in Norway, visiting his Norwegian fiance. And he decided it was now or never: either he is going to come to Israel or he'll never make it.

So he headed for Jerusalem and the Western Wall. He figured he would stop by the Wall to see some old stones. Yet upon his arrival he was amazed. He felt something heavy. He was moved.

Jeff stood before the Wall, and made up an atheist's prayer. He looked at the stones and said:

"God, I don't believe in You. As far as I know, You don't exist. But I do feel something. So if I'm making a mistake, I want You to know, God, I have no quarrel against You. It's just that I don't know that You exist. But God, just in case You're really there and I'm making a mistake, get me an introduction."

Jeff finished his prayer, and one of the Aish HaTorah students who happened to be at the Wall, saw Jeff and thought, "Perhaps he'd be interested in learning some Torah."

He tapped Jeff on the shoulder, startling him so much that he jumped three feet in the air. Jeff whirled around and shouted,

"What in the blankety-blank-dash-bang do you want?!"

"I'm sorry. I just want to know if you'd like to learn about God."

That question hit Jeff like a two-by-four right between the eyes. He had just finished asking God for an introduction, and immediately someone was offering to introduce him to God.

Jeff learned at Aish HaTorah for the next six weeks. He was a very serious student, and went back to the States with a commitment to continue learning. A year later, Jeff came back to Israel and told me the end of his story.

During that previous summer he had been meandering through the cobblestone alleyways of the Old City when he saw a pretty, sweet, religious girl walk by. He said to himself, "Look at the charm of this Jewish woman. May the Almighty help me meet someone like this."

One Shabbos morning during the next year, Jeff entered a synagogue in Boston for prayer services. Standing there was the same young woman he had seen in the Old City. He made his way over to her and said:

"Excuse me, but I believe I saw you last summer in Jerusalem."

She answered, "You're right. I saw you, too."

They are now married and living in New Jersey.

Remember Jeff's prayer. If you know any atheists, you can teach it to them.

Because when you are sincere with God, your prayers are answered.

The Almighty is near to all those who call unto Him in truth. (Psalms 145:18)


EVERYBODY KNOWS ABOUT forgiveness. Everybody asks God for mercy. Everybody wants to be forgiven of their sins and errors. Everybody wants to be cut some slack at one time or another. If something is desired by most everyone, than that thing most be very important.

When a Christian doesn’t forgive, he or she reverts to an unbeliever. Yes! Many Christians are not conscious of this truth.

The reason why you are a Christian is not because you do right things or because you are holy. You are a Christian because your sins are forgiven. Jesus said if you don’t forgive the sins of people against you, your Heavenly Father will also not forgive your sins. So, if your Heavenly Father does not forgive your sins, you become a sinner.

Since forgiveness is the bedrock of your Christianity, you can bet that some tinkering is going to happen with the right doctrines of forgiveness to confuse you and lead you into error.

What is forgiveness? It means not considering an act as an offense. Forgiveness doesn’t mean that the offending act never happened. It means that the act is not considered an offense.

I am sure you have heard someone tell you to “forgive and forget”. That is not in the Bible. All God asks us to do is forgive. So many Christians tell you that they have forgiven their offender but they are finding it so difficult to forget. Why? Because they are torturing themselves trying to do what God never sent them to do. He only asked you to forgive and if you forgive properly, you don’t battle with forgetting. You just get on with your life.

I have found a most effective way of walking forever in forgiveness. Like most everything in our lives, it begins in the mind. If you know that you are going to eventually forgive someone anyway, why bother even taking offense and making yourself unhappy in the first place?

1. Realise that in dealing with human beings, people are going to upset you at some point. They are going to make honest mistakes and they are going to deliberately upset you. Every person you meet has the potential to do the worst possible thing to you.

2. You have done the worst possible thing to God. God forgave you, right? He even sent His only Son to die to save you even while you were yet committing offenses.

3. When Jesus took away the sins of the world – He took care of past, present, future sins all at once.

4. So, forgive like Jesus.
a. Don’t wait for people to offend you. Just create a forgiveness chest for everybody you know and will ever meet. Forgive them regardless, ahead of time so that when the offense happens you don’t even battle with pain and hurt. You have already forgiven.

b. People you are going to be dealing with on a long term basis like your spouse for example – package all possible offenses, all of it. Past, present, and future offenses you spouse could ever commit and forgive all.

c. Don’t wait for people to realize they have offended you and beg for forgiveness. Some don’t even know they have offended you. Some don’t have a conscience. Some don’t care how you feel about what they did. Some will even hurt you some more if they could. So, forgive.

This is the truth about forgiveness.

It’s ALL about YOU!
It has nothing to do with the other person, but everything to do with you. Accept responsibility for this. Full responsibility. A loser is one who shares responsibility for his life with others. To win in this game, know that it is all about you and nobody else.

Some people teach that when an offense keeps repeating itself, it becomes a habit. “It is no longer an error, but habit or way of life and has to be viewed differently.” they say. Forget those people. They want to take you to hell.

How Much is Enough?
The Bible does not say that an error has a limit for forgiveness. God commands that we FORGIVE ALL sins, ALL the time. Jesus Christ was asked how many times we should forgive our brother who offends us - he said 70 x 7 - which means uncountable times. In teaching us on how to pray, He said, “Father forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us.” How much mercy do you want from God? Give that same measure to others.

Who do I forgive? Everybody and everyone! Some people say that they can forgive a stranger who offends them, but a family member will remain unforgiven because the person shouldn’t have done what they did. E.g. Husband takes offense at his wife for weeks for not telling him she was going out, despite her pleas for forgiveness. Tension at home, a lot of unhappiness. Yet, the same man is able to easily forgive someone who carelessly bashed his car in traffic causing him delays, pain, and loss of money. Normal reasoning should be the other way round, don’t you think?

Forgiveness and Marriage No reason is strong enough for divorce. That’s the Word of God. Let’s get that out of the way.

But there are people who strongly believe that adultery of their spouse is a justification for divorce which means they have set limits to their forgiveness of their spouse. Some say, “I’ll forgive my wife of any offense but not adultery (or insult to my mother).”

It is not the offense of a spouse that leads to divorce. It is the decision of the offended spouse that leads to divorce. If the offended spouse decided to forgive - the marriage continues. If the offended spouse decided to forgive in perpetuity - then the marriage lasts forever. It's not sin that causes divorce. It is non-forgiveness that causes divorce. This principle is difference between Mrs. Bill Clinton and Mrs. Tiger Woods. One woman decided to forgive her husband in perpetuity and continue her marriage the other decided that her husband's offense is too much for her to bear and decided to end her marriage.

I know a denomination in Nigeria whose members are so stuck up on "holiness" and "sin" that one sin is enough reason to end an engagement. The offendinf fiancĂ© would be declared “unholy” and they start looking for a new "holy" person to marry. So many late marriages in that church, sisters can stay single till age 50. It is common to find people getting married in their 40s. And they happen to also have the highest divorce rate in the Body of Christ too. Because the discovery of one sin in the spouse is enough declare him or her an "unbeliever" and end the marriage. It is so sad, how the devil has blinded Christians to the truth and the power of forgiveness.

What makes a marriage work according to the Bible is not the errors that people make in it or how many times error occurs, what makes a marriage work is the attitude of the offended. If every time an offense is committed, it is forgiven then the marriage (or any relationship at all) survives offenses. The Bible teaches Christians to forgive, endure and apply patience and never to end a marriage. The world teaches to limit forgiveness to a certain measure and to end a marriage if the offending spouse does not change.


As children of God, we all live by grace. We are not Christians because we don’t commit sin, we are Christians because we are forgiven. Extend that same grace to everybody in your life. “Do unto others as you want them to do unto you.” Jesus taught us forgiveness, turn the other cheek. He did not teach us slapping back and acting mean. Our Savior is not stupid or asking us to be stupid. He knows it all - the pain of seeking vengeance and the hurt that follows is even greater than the pain of the offense.

Pray for grace - the grace to stop taking offense at what people do or say to you. He is your Father, He loves you, He wants you to be happy and He will do everything He can to help you to be happy.

(c) 2011, Aziza Uko. This work is the original work of the author and copyrighted. It may not be reproduced in part or in whole in any form without the permission of the author and proper acknowledgement.