Monday, August 8, 2011


by Aziza Uko

 "AZIZA, I HAVE been in a relationship with a lady for four years, two of which has been in courtship. She is truly beautiful inside and outside. Everyone in my family loves her. I met her at a Christian youth summit. She's a solid member of her church. I even left my church and started worshiping in her church for the past three years. She has been a real source of encouragement in my life. I have a good job and so does she. I love her so much and I really want to marry her. How do I know she's the will of God for me? I don't want to make a mistake.” – Joseph Simmons

Yours is the story of many Christian men today. The “will of God” in marriage teaching these days has been clouded with so many abstract theories going overboard on the importance of be “in the spirit” so much that the real practical teaching on what the will of God for a Christian’s marriage has been lost to many. This has resulting in inertia among Christians in the area of marriage.

What you must know is that God did not choose Eve for Adam. Adam chose Eve by himself from a variety of chooses that were made available for him. Study the story of Genesis 2 carefully detailed here - "MARRIAGE WHERE IT ALL BEGAN" Throughout the scriptures there is no record of God choosing a wife for anybody.

All you need according to the Word of God to determine if a lady is right for you are just three things.

She is a Christian. The Word of God is very clear on this. It remains one of the issues that is clearly instructed in both the Old and the New Testaments. You must marry from the family of God. Do not marry an unbeliever. [Deuteronomy 7:3-4, Malachi 2:11, 2 Corinthians 6:14]

You like her. Many people don’t know this. They think that God can decide for them and God’s choice many not be the person they like. This error has led to many unhappy situations. Where people left relationships with people they were in love with and married someone they did not fancy just because they were led to believe that the other person was the will of God for them. God says in Numbers 36:6, a very direct instruction from the Almighty – “Let them marry who they like.”  [It is best read the entire story it starts from verse 1 of Numbers Chapter 36]

Summary, marry a Christian that you like! It is that simple.

How will you know who is right for you?
When you meet her, you will know. You will have peace in your heart about the decision. Peace in your heart is not the same thing as peace of mind. The Holy Spirit lives in you and He often prompts you with signals of peace or of uneasiness about a decision you wish to make. A signal of peace is what we call peace in your heart. There’s a quiet confidence that this peace brings and you are then able to do what you need to do to accomplish your goal in life.

In your case, I don’t know what to say anymore. You’ve said all that there needs to see to know that she’s for you – she’s beautiful inside and outside, she’s a Christian, she is a source of encouragement to you, your family loves her, you both have great jobs, you’ve known her for four years, and you love her. What other sign do you want? Her hair should turn into a burning bush? (*grinning smiley*.)

Seriously, you are fine. You are a Christian so all you have are better days ahead. “But the path of the just is as the shining light, that shineth more and more unto the perfect day.” Proverbs 4:18. I just love the New Living Translation which says, “The way of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn, which shines ever brighter until the full light of day.” God has promised you a bright future and your end must be brilliant. “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” Jeremiah 29:11

Marriage is not a battlefield or a cross to bear as some people so mistakenly teach. Marriage is a covenant relationship between a man and a woman for the purpose of companionship, procreation, support/partnership, and sexual union. What will make you marriage work is your willingness to work out your differences, walk blanket forgiveness, bear her weaknesses and don’t try to change her, be patient and tolerant, and keep loving her. Everything will turn out just fine for you.

(c) 2011, Aziza Uko. This work is the original work of the author and copyrighted. It may not be reproduced in part or in whole in any form without the permission of the author and proper acknowledgement.

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