TRUTH: God has not created anybody special for you. God has not set any special date that you will marry. God is not keeping you single. The devil is not keeping you single, the bastard has no such power. There is no curse in your family keeping you single. Nothing you forefathers did is keeping you single. There’s no ordinance in your family keeping you single. Nobody whom you refused to marry in the past placed a curse on you. You don’t have spirit wife or spirit husband that is preventing you from marrying. You are not single because you insulted a man of God once upon a time somewhere. You are not single because of a premarital sexual encounter. You are not single because you don’t have faith. You decide when you will marry. You have to make a choice of who to marry and when to marry.
Some people say that God showed them who to marry. There are those who say they heard a voice tell them that someone is their wife. Some say they saw it in a dream. Some say it was revealed to their pastors or parents. Some even say they were given the name of their spouse. Those are all personal stories which cannot be verified. We thank God for their lives and we move on.
The Word of God is the standard for all Christians to follow. Jesus' testimony is the only one that counts. No matter how inspiring a man's personal testimony, it cannot defeat the Word of God.
God leads you to someone who could be your spouse, but you have to make your choice. That is the Word of God. God does not choose a spouse for anybody. God does not have a special person He created for anybody.
Contrary to popular belief and teaching - God did not create Eve to marry Adam or Adam to marry Eve. He created Eve after Adam had looked around from all other creatures God made for him and could not find a help meet. When God created Eve, it was not to make Adam marry her. But He presented Eve to Adam, just has He had done of so many animals before. It was when Adam choose Eve that the institution of marriage was created.
If God does not choose your spouse for you. He therefore will not set a date for you to marry. If God permits your freewill to work in any situation, it therefore means He will not fix a time for you to take a decision you and only you will take.
The most important decision a human being can make is not the choice of who to marry, contrary to popular teaching - it is the decision to accept Jesus as Lord and Saviour and become born-again. That's the decision that causes heaven to erupt in joy, not the choice of spouse. If God does not force you to give your life to Jesus, why would He then force you to marry on a certain day.
There's no record in the Bible where God choose a wife for anybody or commanded anybody to marry a particular person.
There are some who say that if they did not marry the particular person that they did, their life would have been so bad. Or if they did not marry at the time they did, they would have been divorced by the day of the testimony. Again, another personal testimony, but this one can be examined.
Nobody can ever know the outcome of a decision the person did not take. Let me say it another way - If an event that would have set a particular future in place, never happened, then there’s no telling what the future would have been. If you did not marry Jane in 1987, but rather you married Mary in 1995, you can never for sure tell what would have happened if you married Jane in 1987. Conclusions on a future which is dependent on you taking a particular decision at a certain time which you did not take has no basis.
If you did not give your life to Jesus or answer God's call at the time you did, your life would have taken a different turn, no doubt about it. But you can't conclusively fill in all the blanks of the details of how your life would have been. You can for sure say that you would have been unsaved - the Word of God says that - but you cannot say for instance, I would have been jobless or divorced or poor. Only God knows that. So, you can't tell if you got married earlier what would have happened to your marriage by now.
Some people say that you have to work on yourself, become a better Christian, get close to God. When you are “full”, you will get married. It sounds right, but it is wrong.
Marriage is God's creation. But it is not a Christian institution. God created marriage for man. Christians often get things mixed up. Jesus Christ was a Jew. He was not a Christian for instance. Hindus, Budhists, traditionalists, even the fools (those that say in their heart, there is no God) get married. So, teaching single sisters that they have to be “better” Christians in order to get married is deceptive and destructive. Often the person teaching this is married, and he or she is not a perfect Christian. Sometimes, he is not even as good a Christian as the single people he is preaching to. What qualifies him to give that lecture is that he is married.
If prostitutes (at least everybody can confirm they sin everyday) get married, some even continue in their business after marriage and still remain married, then why should Christian sisters have to work on themselves to get married?
If the person teaching such did not get married as a result of reward for faithfulness or service, then it is wrong to tell other Christians that they somehow have to earn the right to be married.
There are some that discourage you from pressing for your desire. They say God is to be loved and not used.
The TRUTH: The Word of God holds the answers to every human question. If someone has a problem or a question. What the person needs is an answer and Jesus is that answer. It doesn't mean that is all that Jesus is. If a Christian has cancer, is there anything wrong in him seeking healing? If he asks questions of a fellow Christian and the person gives him the Word he needs to apply to solve get is healing. Does that mean that the preacher is trying to use Jesus?
Some tell you to read your Bible and pray hard and fast. Then all your marital problems will be solved. If one is unhappy in his marriage, “Brother, pray, read the Bible, meditate on it, fast and pray, get close to your pastor, don’t miss fellowship. It is well.” If one is divorced and seeks a reconciliation, “Brother, pray, read the Bible, meditate on it, fast and pray, get close to your pastor, don’t miss fellowship. It is well.” If one has never received a marriage proposal in her life, “Sister, pray, read the Bible, meditate on it, fast and pray, get close to your pastor, don’t miss fellowship. It is well.” Can that be the answer to those problems?
Don't all Christians fellowship? Don't we all pray? Don't we read the Bible? Don't we have pastors whom we talk to all the time? Don’t we fast? How much is the right quantity? If an activity that goes with being a Christian is the answer to singleness or marital challenges, then all Christians would be happily married, don't you think?
How does doing more of the same thing produce a new result?
Reading the Bible is good, very good. Prayer is extremely good. Fasting is very beneficial. Fellowshipping with the saints is awesome. But everything has its place and uses. Salvation has its place and its own principle in the Word of God. No matter how you pray, you can't be saved. No matter how you read the Bible, you can't be saved. If you like, live in the church, have a relationship with all the pastors in this world, you cannot be saved till you do what the Word of God says you need to do to be saved.
Prayer and Bible reading does not guarantee long life. What does is the first commandment with a promise.
Applying the Word of God to resolve a challenge in one's life is not using God. God Himself made the provision for your rescue and completeness in His Word before you came around. It is a free gift, given for your benefit. If you refuse to use the right tools, you will suffer like one who does not have the right tool. So, don't let anybody who does not have the right word for your situation deceive you into rejecting the right word and remaining where you are.
The only cure for a problem is the solution to that problem.
When God identified Adam's loneliness - God did not rest until Adam found his help meet. So, therefore, when you activate God, capture His attention on your situation, move the heavens on your behalf - He will not rest till you are married.
Our God, Jehovah is His covenant name, He loves it when we turn Him on. He invited us to call on Him, prove Him, and bring Him into a situation. God is not moved by your trials or struggles or your tears - He is moved by a challenge to His integrity.
Learn how to move God. What moves Him?