- CHRISTIAN LADIES - THE WAY FORWARD
READ PART 1 of this HERE
My advice to young Christian ladies - Don’t be available to be “studied”. If a man is insistent on studying you, allow him to do what he wishes. But don’t enter into a relationship with him. Let him know that you are open to receive marriage proposals from other men.
Don’t make yourself available to be courted. If someone wants to marry you, let him come up with a programme with specific action plan with dates. Don’t permit the dates to be too far apart. Don’t allow a man propose to you in 2011 and fix your marriage for 2013. Don’t, however, pressurize him to fix a date. Just tell him that his plan doesn’t match your own plan for your life that your plan is to get married this year or within 12 months and end it there. If he is serious, he will do the needful in good time. If he is not, he will disappear and not occupy your space. Don’t enter into a relationship with a man that has no purpose for which he can just walk away at anytime and claim that “After all, I did not marry her.” or “After all, you are not wearing my ring.”
This practice has caused so much heartache and every day pastors are treating cases of broken hearts, broken courtships, and sisters in the church are being used and dumped. The pastors on the forum will confirm this. Even your own pastor will confirm this.
One will ask: If I don’t date or court how will I get married?
The truth is that marriage is God’s invention. It’s an old institution. It is older than tithing which has not changed. It is older than offering which has not changed. It is even older than sowing and reaping. Nothing in the Bible has changed. It’s only marriage people attempt to change. Faith has not changed. Salvation has not changed with the times. Let us practice marriage the way the Creator originally made it to be.
Adam and Eve did not court for sometime before God joined them in marriage. Rebekah did not court Isaac. Isaac married her without even seeing her face. Rachel did not court Jacob. Boaz did not court Ruth. Don’t apply your own wisdom or the wisdom of men to your life. Apply only the wisdom of God, which is the Word of God. Trust God, He will lead you alright.
Don’t reduce yourself to courtship items. The very men who want to study you to know you better are the same men who can sleep with a prostitute two times, pay her for her services and the next thing, they are marrying the prostitute without studying her. We have seen so much in this world. Prostitutes have moved from brothels into their husband’s houses with full church wedding.
We have seen brothers who were in courtship with sisters for years (3, 5, 6, 7, even 10 years) and one day they fall into sin of fornication and he dumps her and marries a new sister who just came into the church whom he did not study within two months. We have seen brothers who will study sisters in the township church then one Christmas, they travel home and come back with a wife in January, fully paid for. He did not study that her. His mother must have identified her for him and he trusted his mother’s decision and married her. By April, they would do church wedding with pregnancy. What about men who live abroad who send money to their families to go and marry a wife for them whom they only spoke to on the phone? Don’t you think those men were dating or in a relationship with someone where they live?
Then you, a daughter of the Most High, a child of Abraham, a princess of the Greatest Royalty in the universe, your Father is the King of all kings, Ruler of the entire Universe, you are filled with the Holy Spirit, you are a city on a hill, the light of the world, the salt of the earth, a carrier of unmatched virtue, certified by Heaven, acknowledged by earth, whoever marries you is doing himself a great favour because you have unfettered and limitless access to the only Throne room that counts in heaven and on earth! Then, a man wishes to reduce you to a study material? Don’t accept it. Know who you are. It makes the difference in your perception of yourself. And your perception of yourself determines how other people perceive you.
Daughters of Zion, you are wives not girlfriends or fiancées. Don’t make yourself less than God has made you. You are a wife, a mother, a woman of excellence, made for honour and glory. Don’t accept anything less.
There's a 9 point plan for positioning yourself (posted earlier this week) to get married easily and quickly. Follow the plan, within one year you would be married. It has never failed anybody who followed it because it is based on a sure foundation – the Word of God.
(c) 2011, Aziza Uko. This work is the original work of the author and copyrighted. It may not be reproduced in part or in whole in any form without the permission of the author and proper acknowledgement.