by Aziza Uko
WITH SO MUCH talk about preparing yourself for marriage, many are asking what are the specific things I need to do to get married quickly having acquired the knowledge of what marriage is?
Well good news. This is for my sisters on the forum, but brothers can also apply the principles and it works for all people. These principles work for every single person who has applied them.
They work all the time because they are based on the only sure thing – the Word of God. Begin to apply these principles and you will find yourself married within a year if you so desire it.
1. Abstain completely from sexual sin: If you are in a relationship, stop sleeping with the person. If there’s no marriage proposal, leave that relationship. You are not made to be used for sex. Don’t give a man your body before he marries you. Let him wait till you are his wife. Do not, I repeat, do not allow a man to sleep with you unless he is your husband. Even if you are engaged, stop sleeping with him. Tell him that you want to stop sinning so that you can develop your relationship with God. If that causes him to change his mind on the marriage plans, it means he never meant well in the first place. At the other side of every instruction God gives us is a blessing. Don’t commit sexual sin under any circumstance. The most virtuous, beautiful, attractive lady is the one who does not commit sexual sin.
2. Appearance: Take a proper bath. Be clean. Put on your best clothes, wear your best perfume. (Naomi to Ruth, within 24 hours of implementing this instruction, Ruth was married and joined the lineage of Jesus Christ.) Don’t keep your best clothes in your closet, wear them. Look smashing at all times. Make yourself attractive. Don’t show your cleavage. Don’t expose your body indecently. Dress like the princess that you are. Look at the royal wedding photos. That’s how princesses dress. They cover their bodies properly. They don’t expose their breasts. Dress decently. Buy designer perfumes that smell nice and use them. Use jewelry. Wear gold if you can afford it. Look good. Use roll on. Smell fresh at all time. Use very good toothbrush and toothpaste. Buy mouth wash. Fix your hair. Be stylish. Look elegant. Invest in your appearance – it always pays.
3. Service – Serve in your local church and community. Rebekkah was found in a place of service. Rachael was found in a place of service. Ruth was found in a place of service. Don’t serve in an eye-service way. Serve because you love God and people and want to serve Him. Let your service be genuine. Not because you want to be noticed or married.
4. Pray – Make your requests known to God. Give Him strong reason why you want to marry. But pray aright. Don’t ask God for your Adam. Ask God for open up your marital destiny. Ask Him for wisdom, grace, and favour. Ask God to direct your feet aright.
5. Interact – If you are to marry a Christian, you must interact with Christians. Go to mid-week services, bible study groups, and Sunday service. Surround yourself with God-fearing people.
6. Temperance – Control your temperament. Don’t flare up, raise your voice, scream like a crazy person if you are upset. Conduct yourself maturely at all times. Be kind and considerate to others around you. Be humble. People like humble people.
7. Don’t be desperate – Don’t give your money to a man before he marries you. Don’t give him money to add and marry you. Let him use his own marry and marry you. Don’t call men or send them “hello, thinking of you” text messages. Even if you love your fiancée, don’t be overtly expressive. Don’t call him unless you have something important to say. Let him call you. Don’t show anxiety. Even if you are very excited about getting married, don’t fall into the trap of doing wifely duties before you are married. Don’t go and start cooking, washing, cleaning. Restrain your urges to be a wife till you are married. Then you show him what a great choice he made. NO SEX!!!! No sleepovers. You did not make him propose marriage to you, don’t think that there’s anything you can do to make him speed up the process.
8. Don't allow yourself to be "dated" or "befriended". You are not made to be a girlfriend. You are made to be a wife. Make yourself available only for marriage. When you get a marriage proposal - direct the person to your family. That’s when you will separate the real people from the fake ones. A real person will move his family to go and see your family. A fake one will suggest that you enter into a relationship first, dating, first. It’s a trap. Don’t make yourself available to be dated or befriended.
Every day, we handle cases of a man who dated or befriended or was trying to study one lady for years and dumped her and married one he just met. The one he just met was not studied, dated, slept with, or “got to be known”. It tells you when a man has located his wife, he doesn’t want all that. He wants to get married asap. When you see one looking for someone that “he will get to know better”, he is probably not serious. I am not saying don’t interact with the opposite sex. But make sure you don’t fall into the trap of being “dated” or “befriended”. You are a wife. Until you carry yourself as one, people will keep coming to tell you lamb tales from Shakespeare. Tell him that you are from a royal family, in your family you don't receive boyfriends you only receive suitors. Carry yourself alright, and you will be located and you will be highly priced and will be making a choice from many proposals.
9. Activate the Grace of Marriage
Sow a sacrificial seed towards your expected desires.
“Grace is the intervention of the heavens in a person’s life in the natural. What can you do to activate grace in your life? What is it that you need to do to provoke the heavens to act on your behalf on earth? The only means of activating the grace of God is by sacrifice. God’s blessings are not limited only to those people who sacrifice. God can bless anyone He chooses to. But for anyone to influence or provoke the heavens to act on his or her behalf, it has to be only on the platform of sacrifice. Sacrifice is the only means of provoking the heavens to act on your behalf.” (See the full teaching on this in a separate post to follow this one titled – Activating the Grace of Marriage)
(c) 2011, Aziza
Uko. This work is the original work of the author and copyrighted. It
may not be reproduced in part or in whole in any form without the
permission of the author and proper acknowledgement.